relatives, just would not go away.
Our last resort was the county landfill. When I was a kid, a trip in my dad’s old truck to the local dump (we didn’t know we had to call it a ‘solid waste environmental disposal site’ back then) was a low-key affair. This activity involved loading our garbage cans, which were rusty 55 gallon steel drums with the tops cut off (no frilly plastic things from Lowe’s for us, thank you) into the back of my dad’s pick-up. Then it was out of town, across the bridge, up the big hill and finally a quick turn onto the twisty, dirt road that
led to the du…landfill. Here the “caretaker,” who also served as the town drunk, would wave us to a particular location to deposit
our load. This gentleman would then carefully watch us unload, so as to be ready to grab anything which looked valuable.
Of course, in this the 21st century we have complicated everything, including something as simple as trash disposal. Now I had to call ahead to check on operating hours (I don’t think our dump every closed); restrictions (at our dump, if you could drag it there it was accepted); and cost (just like air at gas stations, nothing is free today). After insuring that we were in compliance with a long list of rules and regulations, Roxanne and I carefully secured our load of trash in the back of my pick-up truck and after covering it with a fancy tarp, we were off!
At the dump – sorry, environmental landfill – we were weighed, asked where we lived and whether we were carrying any contraband. After assuring the attendant (who was busily punching a computer keyboard - somehow I don't think our town drunk
would have qualified for this job) we had nothing more sinister than a porcelain toilet, we were directed to a specific area and admonished to put everything in its proper location. Dodging huge commercial garbage trucks driving at least 80 mph (now I know where my table scraps end up) Roxanne and I threw our puny load of trash from the back of our truck. We tried not to breathe too deeply while doing this, since the surrounding air was filled with all sorts of unmentionable things. (I guess some things never change.) Back at the attendant booth we were weighed yet again and dutifully paid our dumping fee. Yes, retirement was wonderful. I had gone to school for sixteen years and then worked for thirty-five more just to spend my golden years hauling